Help

news wavers so much on the bad side. much to my disgust, i'm still supposed to look through it so i wouldn't be left in the dark.

i haven't found a hospital to take me. most requires trainings that require some amount of money. some trainings i missed. then the news keeps blaring about unjustified unemployed nurses needing to pay for their profession. i can't take it in.

i'm a professional. i've worked hard to finish this course i went through. i pondered, i dreamed, i became inspired with it. i want to be what i'm made for.

the reality is, i don't have enough money to train for the hospital i want to work in. and i can't live long where i'm at right now where commuting takes more than i'm used to. i want to pursue what i've worked for even if it'll be difficult. i'm up to something new.

define things that can't be taken easily. here it is, right in front of me.


i might do something else and it might make a few detours in my path. hopefully, it leads right back.
--

sept. 22

I'm a Nurse

The title must mean a lot. It might mean, I've taken every philosophical account that relates to caring for patients and the not. It might mean I've been through 4 painstaking years of studying enormous books, most related to the medical field, that I might be mistakenly taking up medicine. It might mean, I've actually lived to be a nurse even if I'm not on practice. It might mean I'm actually am a nurse at last. Who knows.

I just passed the exam my country had me taken so I could get hold of a license. A license from which I haven't registered for yet because I can't with the same old financial reasons. I just took one of the hardest courses ever created, studied my head-off most of the time, prayed hard, pleaded with all sweat that I'd make it through that one horrible exam after I've finished the four years that also took much fund from my parents. I made it, and it made a huge sigh out of me. 

The celebration was... well, nothing. There wasn't any. I've got to be happy for a short while because all the hard work payed off. The next day, I'm wondering what'll happen next. The truth is blaring out every where. I can't just get a paying job just like other professions do. I need to be a volunteer and be certified, pay some trainings, hope and pray again, prove that I'm not just a nurse, and more training. I must live to be one.

I want to be a nurse. A valued nurse. One who doesn't get looked at as just a helping hand of the medical guy. The medical guy do need a helping hand on the first place, but I believe there is more in there.

Being a student nurse had me face the actual things a nurse does in any health care setting. The nurse gets to be the first person to talk to the patient in need of care. They hold the responsibility of assessing the details of their health problem. After which the nurse religiously monitors a patient through out his care, watching out for the progress of his health. The nurse gets to hear most of the patients concerns owing the fact that he is with the patient most of the time. Then when opportunity finally comes, they have the task of giving teaching their patients of valuable knowledge that would be relevant to their state. And most of all, they act as counselors listening to their patient's pain, providing emphatic support, continuously giving and showing care.

The point is, I need to get through more things before I actually feel like I'm a professional nurse. The exam I was talking about awhile ago wasn't horrible as I thought. It was actually almost perfect, the way it tormented a pessimist into thinking that she's going to fail but did good actually. I figured, there's more things to come before everything else.

--unfinished